Author Archives: Emily Turnbull

Sleepy Time

Sleeping is for the weak!

Sleeping is for the weak!

Round 1.

Seriously, just when I think I have Mommy & Daddy trained, they do something dumb. Like put me in my crib and tell me it’s sleepy time. They try to trick me with that toy that has animals running in circles, but my stuffed dog (Tags) and I know better. They’re trying to get me to sleep by myself. Mommy says I’m smart and she knows I can do it. You know what? I am smart. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I will. We have a good system! I sleep with Mommy! It works!

Daddy says I’m a big girl and big girls sleep in their crib. If big girls have to sleep without their mommy, then I don’t want to be one.

It took me an hour, but I won.

KATIE SAYS: You only won this round, kiddo…
MARK SAYS: You missed the part where you did sleep in the crib but then woke yourself up after 40 minutes and were royally cheesed off.

Round 2.

I’m really confused. Last night I clearly voiced my disapproval of this new sleeping arrangement. I really thought Mommy understood that the idea of me sleeping in this prison was unacceptable. I’m not sure about Daddy, sometimes I think he hears me but doesn’t listen. Anyway, here we are again, and Mommy LEFT, so I’m stuck with Daddy. Maybe she doesn’t know. Tags agrees that our situation is more dire this time. I told him to go find Mommy and tried to help him escape, but Daddy noticed and returned him to the cell. Eventually I decided I should rest and wait for Mommy to rescue me. Surely she won’t stand for this treatment of me.

Emily helping Tags escape the crib

Emily “helping” Tags escape while giving a very impassioned soliloquy about one of them must be free to tell their story and to not look back but onward to the future.

Round 3.

MOMMY WAS IN ON IT! I’m so sad. I wish Tags would stop smiling at me. I know he’s trying to cheer me up, but I just can’t handle it right now. At least Mommy picks me up and feeds me when I wake up starving. Daddy just does this thing he calls a “pick up and put down”, which is a complete waste of time, because as soon as I calm down, he puts me back in my crib and I just have to start all over.

Round 4.

Ha, I figured out their routine, and started telling Mommy not to put me in the crib as soon as she started it. Even Daddy didn’t let me cry today, because I told him how sad I was. I won. I don’t think it’s what Mommy meant when she said she knew I could do it, though. Thank goodness that’s over. Mommy (and even Daddy) makes a much better mattress than the one in my crib.

Round 5.

What the!!!! Mommy messed up the routine and caught me off guard. She says she had to give a presentation at bed time so hid in Mommy & Daddy’s room. (Although I really don’t know why it’s called Mommy & Daddy’s room since she shares a room with me.) She left me with Daddy.

Daddy doesn’t seem to understand I don’t like sleeping in my crib. He gave me clean pants and read me a story, but he doesn’t have boobs! He gave me a bottle. I know he’s trying really hard so I play along during the day and take a bottle because he says it’ll make Mommy happy, but when it’s night time I get fresh milk right from Mommy. I messed up and ate so much I got full and sleepy. Daddy put me in the crib, and I was so full I couldn’t really argue. I thought Daddy had figured out last night that the crib was a bad place and I don’t like it. I don’t know how Tags can stay in there all day. I don’t know if it was the extra naps Daddy got me to take today or the whole bottle he just fed me but I had a hard time telling him not to put me down. I tried to cry, but he left me! It felt like ten whole minutes before he came back in to check on me, by then I really just needed to chew on his hand for a minute and maybe doze off for a bit. Maybe if I sleep a little I won’t be so full and can tell Mommy to pick me up when she’s done…

Round 6.

Daddy put me to bed again, but I was ready this time. I’ve been thinking about it and planning all day. I yelled at him for a little while, but then I rested. I’m good at naps. When I woke up from my nap, I yelled some more, then took another nap. I know they try to sleep when I do, and if I keep it up, they won’t be able to sleep either and will pick me up. You can’t do this to me! I OWN YOU!!!

Round 7.

I love sleeping with Mommy! Zzz…

MARK SAYS: Mommy and Daddy failed.

To Grandmother’s House We Go

On the plane and powering down!

On the plane and powering down!

Let me just say, my magic seat isn’t very fun after about 30 minutes. I try telling Mommy and Daddy, but they just don’t listen. I don’t understand, because when I’m not in my magic seat, they pick me up as soon as I tell them to. It must have to do with that safety thing Mommy talks about.

Anyway, Mommy and I went to somewhere called the airport the other day. It was kind of like the place with all the people and stores that Mommy calls the mall. There were lots of people, and Mommy pushed me around in my seat. We had to wait in some lines, and people kept saying how little I was. They must be comparing me to Mommy, because I’m so big! Mommy put all our stuff on a moving belt, and it went through a box while we walked along next to it. It seemed kind of silly, because Mommy picked it up like 5 feet later. I wonder what was in the box. Maybe next time I’ll try to get Mommy to let me ride through the box on the belt.

KATIE SAYS: Tip #1 for traveling alone with an infant- O’Hare on a Saturday night was practically empty. It was great not having anyone behind me at security, so I didn’t feel rushed getting all of our stuff through. The TSA agents seemed much more friendly as a result, too.

We walked for a long time, and then Mommy fed me and put me in clean pants. We waited around awhile, and then she put me back in my seat. We walked out to something she called a plane, which had a bunch of seats in rows. The buzzing helped me nap awhile, but when I woke up Mommy wouldn’t pick me up right away. I really need to figure out what “not safe” means. My ears felt a little funny, but then Mommy unbuckled me and I hugged her. She let me sit in her lap for awhile before putting me back in my seat. Then we got off the plane and talked to the people while waiting for someone to bring my stroller.

KATIE SAYS: Tip #2- I picked the seats all the way in the back of the plane so we would hopefully disrupt fewer people. Between that and the plane noise, apparently a number of people didn’t even realize there was a baby on the plane, even though she cried a fair bit at the beginning.

Once we got my stroller, we walked some more, until we saw Grandpa! He helped Mommy with all our bags, and then took us to his house, where Grandma, Great Grandma, and a Great Great Aunt were waiting to see me. It was really late, but Mommy let me stay up a little while longer to visit with them. I wondered where Daddy was, because he’s always around when I go to bed. Mommy said he was on a trip for work. It didn’t sound like much fun. I’ll have to give him extra hugs when I see him. And make him some extra special presents. I practiced making presents for Grandma.

When we woke up, Daddy was still missing, but I got to see more aunts and uncles, and met one of my cousins and a doggy! My cousin is even bigger than I am. She showed me how to roll over, but I still can’t do it myself yet. She gave me some of her toys and clothes that she’s too big for. Mommy let her hold me, but she and my aunts stood right next to us. Her lap isn’t very big. I felt like I was going to fall off it. Everyone took lots of photos of us because we’re so cute. Grandma bought a bathtub and a bouncy seat for me to use when I visit. The bouncy seat is really pink. Mommy hates pink, but the seat has lots of tags on it, so I think it’s ok.

I like visiting people because they all like holding me and telling me what a good girl I am. We’re supposed to go home tomorrow, but Mommy says we might have to stay longer because of the snow. We have lots of snow at home, so I don’t know why it’s a big deal here. I like having extra people around to cuddle me, but I miss Daddy, so I want to go home soon.

Flying's no big deal. I've done it twice!

Flying’s no big deal. I’ve done it twice!

Take Mommy to Work Day

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Emily in her car seat

All set in the magic seat

Mommy’s been acting kinda crazy lately. She hadn’t put me in that magic seat that takes me to new places recently and keeps talking about something called weather. Daddy seemed distracted this morning and not really interested in playing. After getting clean pants and second breakfast, Mommy put me in that seat that moves back and forth in the living room. It’s ok, I guess, but gets boring. I’d much rather cuddle. After a couple minutes, Mommy got me out and put me in the magic seat. Yay, an adventure! I’m so happy, I pee. I wish I could figure out how to tell her my pants are wet. It’s uncomfortable, but I’ll try to suck it up. She’ll figure it out, right?

Nope, she took me to the white box in that cold room and left me alone. I can hear a voice that sounds like her, so I cry so she’ll come back. She doesn’t, and we start moving. Ok, this is not cool. Maybe she can’t hear me. I’ll cry louder to get her attention. I keep hearing her voice. My pants are really wet. This is awful. I wish I could figure out how to poop on command. Or even just how to make the poop noise. Mommy always changes me when she hears that. Oh, oh, we’re stopping now! Mommy’s back, and she took me out of the magic seat! Argh, she keeps putting her boob in my face. Seriously, I just ate. I’ll keep crying. She’s smart, she’ll get it. Now she’s standing up and swaying in this cold place. I’m wrapped up, though, and at least it’s new, so I guess it’s ok. I like swaying. Ok, now she’s sitting back down and trying to feed me. Again. Why isn’t she getting it? Alright, I guess I could have a little snack. Snacktime makes me sleepy… wait, she’s putting me back in the magic seat!! No, Mommy! I better really scream. Mommy pulls out her red toy and I hear Daddy’s voice. I can’t see him, but I cry really loud so he can hear me, too. Mommy looks like she might cry. Don’t cry, Mommy! Maybe Daddy will tell her I need new pants. She takes me out of the seat and we cuddle. At least she’s trying. I love cuddles. We need a better system, though.

Oh, I think she got it! She’s laying me down in her lap and taking off my tights! I’m so proud of her. I give her a giant smile to encourage her. (I think adults need encouragement. They seem so much happier if I humor them with smiles.) Yes! She figured it out! Mommy’s so smart. I’m so happy! Now that I have clean pants, I’m ready for our adventure! She puts me back in the magic seat and I doze off.

When I wake up, we’re in a new room with boxes on the ceiling. That’s new. I don’t remember seeing boxes on the ceiling before. There are a bunch of people I don’t know, and Mommy lets some of them hold me. One of them seems really interested in what I have to say, and we talk awhile. Then I show everyone how I can do backbends. They tell Mommy how cute I am. I’m pretty sure she knows. It’s kind of obvious. I’m starting to get hungry again, so I stick out my tongue a few times. Mommy seems to understand that one, and we go somewhere else so I can eat without people demanding my attention. Then Mommy talks to some more people. I’m bored. The ceiling is more interesting. It has boxes. And lights. No ceiling fans, though. I like ceiling fans. Man, all these people are exhausting…

When I wake up, Mommy changes me, and we leave. Back to the magic seat! I’m so happy, I pee.

The End?