Emily has actually been doing better (finally) with the sleep training. After months of sleeping with her in a recliner, I may possibly be able to sleep in a bed again. My back will be thrilled. I think Mark will be happy, too, though he has gotten used to having a queen bed all to himself.

I’ve been reading a lot about sleep training lately, and thinking about why we’re doing it. Because it’s what you’re supposed to do. Because both grandmothers said we need to get her to sleep in her crib. Because co-sleeping is “bad”. Because the pediatrician said if we co-sleep past 6 months, we’ll be co-sleeping until kindergarten.

Did you notice none of those reasons were based on what I think? Sometime over the last week, I realized I was the problem, and the separation anxiety wasn’t on Emily’s part. As much as I want her to be able to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up (something we all do without even remembering it), I’m not ready for her to sleep alone. I like the fact that she needs me.

After 10 days of sleep training, I’m more sleep deprived than I’ve been since the first few weeks home from the hospital. I’m emotional, and irritable, and the crazy weather in Chicago has my sinuses acting up, which just makes everything worse. My almost 5 month old baby is sleeping peacefully in her crib, and yet, I’m miserable. I hate it. I know she’s going to grow up too fast. I realize that working full time means I get an hour with her awake in the morning and an hour at night, and that’s at best. Her morning wake up smiles and stories are the best part of my day. Is it any wonder I want her sleeping next to me at night?

So, yes, Emily won. And I’m okay with that.

Round 1.

Seriously, just when I think I have Mommy & Daddy trained, they do something dumb. Like put me in my crib and tell me it’s sleepy time. They try to trick me with that toy that has animals running in circles, but my stuffed dog (Tags) and I know better. They’re trying to get me to sleep by myself. Mommy says I’m smart and she knows I can do it. You know what? I am smart. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I will. We have a good system! I sleep with Mommy! It works!

Daddy says I’m a big girl and big girls sleep in their crib. If big girls have to sleep without their mommy, then I don’t want to be one.

It took me an hour, but I won.

KATIE SAYS: You only won this round, kiddo…
MARK SAYS: You missed the part where you did sleep in the crib but then woke yourself up after 40 minutes and were royally cheesed off.

Round 2.

I’m really confused. Last night I clearly voiced my disapproval of this new sleeping arrangement. I really thought Mommy understood that the idea of me sleeping in this prison was unacceptable. I’m not sure about Daddy, sometimes I think he hears me but doesn’t listen. Anyway, here we are again, and Mommy LEFT, so I’m stuck with Daddy. Maybe she doesn’t know. Tags agrees that our situation is more dire this time. I told him to go find Mommy and tried to help him escape, but Daddy noticed and returned him to the cell. Eventually I decided I should rest and wait for Mommy to rescue me. Surely she won’t stand for this treatment of me.

Round 3.

MOMMY WAS IN ON IT! I’m so sad. I wish Tags would stop smiling at me. I know he’s trying to cheer me up, but I just can’t handle it right now. At least Mommy picks me up and feeds me when I wake up starving. Daddy just does this thing he calls a “pick up and put down”, which is a complete waste of time, because as soon as I calm down, he puts me back in my crib and I just have to start all over.

Round 4.

Ha, I figured out their routine, and started telling Mommy not to put me in the crib as soon as she started it. Even Daddy didn’t let me cry today, because I told him how sad I was. I won. I don’t think it’s what Mommy meant when she said she knew I could do it, though. Thank goodness that’s over. Mommy (and even Daddy) makes a much better mattress than the one in my crib.

Round 5.

What the!!!! Mommy messed up the routine and caught me off guard. She says she had to give a presentation at bed time so hid in Mommy & Daddy’s room. (Although I really don’t know why it’s called Mommy & Daddy’s room since she shares a room with me.) She left me with Daddy.

Daddy doesn’t seem to understand I don’t like sleeping in my crib. He gave me clean pants and read me a story, but he doesn’t have boobs! He gave me a bottle. I know he’s trying really hard so I play along during the day and take a bottle because he says it’ll make Mommy happy, but when it’s night time I get fresh milk right from Mommy. I messed up and ate so much I got full and sleepy. Daddy put me in the crib, and I was so full I couldn’t really argue. I thought Daddy had figured out last night that the crib was a bad place and I don’t like it. I don’t know how Tags can stay in there all day. I don’t know if it was the extra naps Daddy got me to take today or the whole bottle he just fed me but I had a hard time telling him not to put me down. I tried to cry, but he left me! It felt like ten whole minutes before he came back in to check on me, by then I really just needed to chew on his hand for a minute and maybe doze off for a bit. Maybe if I sleep a little I won’t be so full and can tell Mommy to pick me up when she’s done…

Round 6.

Daddy put me to bed again, but I was ready this time. I’ve been thinking about it and planning all day. I yelled at him for a little while, but then I rested. I’m good at naps. When I woke up from my nap, I yelled some more, then took another nap. I know they try to sleep when I do, and if I keep it up, they won’t be able to sleep either and will pick me up. You can’t do this to me! I OWN YOU!!!

Round 7.

I love sleeping with Mommy! Zzz…

MARK SAYS: Mommy and Daddy failed.